Are destination weddings getting a bad rap?

September 2, 2011 § Leave a comment

I read an article the other day where the writer suggested that a destination wedding is just a terrible thing to inflict on your friends or family and that people who do this are selfish, inconsiderate boobs.  To be completely candid, I’ve read variations of this theme over the years and what bothers me every time I read something like this is the time and energy devoted to such a simple remedy – politely decline the invitation!  Really, it’s that simple.  Why get all worked up over an invitation?  Just say no and leave it at that.

People get married for so many reasons and it’s such a shame that others go out of their way to suggest that if you don’t have your wedding their way, then you’re selfish and inconsiderate.  Honestly I think this is why destination weddings are so popular, people don’t want hear that they have to have their parents’ wedding.  They want a choice and the opportunity to create a unique experience; I completely get this.  And what are the chances that anyone can plan a wedding that makes everyone happy?  Zero.  The kind truth is that someone is going to have a problem with the date, the location and so on.

So what’s the solution?  Plan your wedding around the people who support your vision and don’t worry about the rock throwers, there’s no shortage of them and chances are they wouldn’t come to your wedding even if you did plan it around them.

I do have some tips though on how to keep your destination wedding guest friendly.

  1. Be kind – give your guests plenty of advance notice in order to save money, arrange child care or take off work .  You can announce your intention for a destination wedding without all the details 12 to 18 months in advance.
  2. Be generous – Pay for a portion of your guest’s hotel expense, at least for your “must attend” guests.
  3. Be practical – Keep your destination within four hours flight time and plan a Saturday ceremony so that guests short on time or money can fly in on Friday and out on Sunday.
  4. Be sensitive – Not everyone can attend so plan an at home reception for those guests.  When you send out your formal invites, give your guests the option to RSVP to either your destination wedding or your at-home reception.

What has your experience with less than supportive guests and how did you solve it?  I’d love to hear about it!

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